Etney

After pretty much disappearing from LJ completely, and practically stalking my flist the past couple days.. I think I'm going to slowly return back. Senior year is about to start, which means most of my offline friends will have left, and other than my job, schoolwork, cheer practice, and volunteer work I should be able to get on more and I honestly miss it...
_{I just hope everyone hasn't forgotten me completely... D:}

I thought you were only sposed to be able to get the flu once. But, no! I get it once and then get it again two weeks later at the same time as a major event for my school- some crazy basketball thing for which cheerleaders perform a kickass routine. So I have to drag myself to school in order to perform at the pep rally and then to the game on Saturday, feeling like I'm about to collapse. Ah well, we looked great. Just now my muscles still feel like jello and I still can't eat anything :/

*headdesk* I'll stop complaining now.

Goody! Its been done forever, but forgot to post it. It was for a contest over at HE, where you had to draw a seen for New Years Eve. I dont place in contests, but it has Tonks with a batman belt buckle so I adore it anyways XD

( Read more... )

Quick observation:

It is very hard to say no when a guy asks to kiss you when you are attracted to them, even if you know it is better that way.

Le Sigh

Here is a very quick write up of my week, and why i haven't been online. On Monday, I was sick and stayed home- that was the day I found out my dog has cancer- and my last post.

Tuesday, I thought I was all healthy and better, so I went to school. I was swamped with homework, difficult stuff, and was exhausted by the end of the school day. Next week is a big event at my school, though, and the cheerleaders have this huge routine that we do for it- so we've been working really hard. Which means that all this week practices have run long and mean exhausting work. So yes, Tuesday I came home after practice, did half my homework, and fell asleep.

Wednesday I was trying to finish all my homework at school, just barely succeeded, and then REALLY wanted a book. Since we werne't able to have practice- i went to borders after school. I was really disappointed I didn't find a book I wanted, so i didn't want to spend the money and instead figured i'd just go to the library. A friend asked me to meet him for coffee, so the end of the day at least looked pleasant. It wasn't. Even though I was being EXTREMELY careful that day, accidents happen. I hadn't sped more than 5mph the whole day and yet On the way home, my foot slipped off the brake and well- the truck in front of my was fine but the hitch did a bit to the front of my car. I'd rather not discuss it further, other than that I'm fine and half of the money I've saved up for college might go to that instead.

Anyways, Thursday was a repeat of Tuesday, except I had to get rides everywhere rather than be able to drive myself. Friday there was a game afterschool, and by the time i came home it was after ten I was exhausted.

daintress I should be able to get to that app sometime this weekend, and I'm really very sorry I haven't been able to get to it yet. I really look forward to joining! :)

dianish I'll be on today later, after I get some more work done, so you'll have to tell me all your news!! Which Mr?! What happened?!

So I adore my beagle, Silver, very much. She's old, 11 since last june in people years, but still acts like a puppy. Lately she had been having problems with an eyetag on her left eye, normally eyetags are fine and can be found on many dogs- but this one was placed badly so was giving her some problems. It was bleeding, and itching, so today she was scheduled to get surgery to get the tag removed. But the surgery did not happen, because the vet told us that she might not make it through the surgery if we were to try it... because she has cancer (unrelated to the eye-thing).

Apparently, she has 1-3 months left to live... My dad is going to call the vet to get more information tomorrow, to see if she'll have to deal with pain, etc and how we can help her. She's the only pet I've ever really had, the exception being a few fish and hamsters when i was very young, and I can't imagine losing her. I've dealt with human death and cancer before, probably more times than many of my older friends, but never anyone who I would see day-to-day. And if any of you have lost pets, you probably remember how it felt. I'm just feeling heartbroken right now, I dont want to lose her... <3

Here is a drawing I did for My Laura, Miss rainbowdarling. It is of her two RP characters in front of Neuschwanstein Castle.

( Read more... )

So, I was thinking and realized that I count alot. I swear, I'm not a big fan of numbers- but whenever I do anything thats in any way repetitive, I count. When I'm running I count up to four, and breath in on four. I also count to four when I'm walking for long distances. When I was shoveling I just counted to two over and over, and when I brush my teeth I count to thirteen over and over.

I'm not sure if this is odd or not, but i just realized i did it and decided to share! Hooray!

I also thought I'd share something my father always tells me "find a job that you love, and you'll be rich."

I sometimes think thats ridiculous, because I want to be an artist and the chances of that making me money are slim. However, I think I know now that he has always been talking about more than money... :)

I have often be heard as saying "Without snow, there is no point in winter." And I beleive that, full heartedly.

So when I see there are three inches of snow on the ground, I think- shovel? Not a big deal!

In fact, I adore three inches of snow... its just the right amount to cover up the grass and make everything look pretty. So three inches? Your good.

But you, first inch... WHY must you turn to ice and cling to the driveway?! I stick up for you!!! I LIKE YOU!!! And here you have to make it hard for me. You know it never works out between you and the pavement, so stop being so close to it!!!

I'm not crazy...

So, you guys… I finally did some fanart!!!! Hooray!!! Except… you can’t see it. Because its for a contest at H.E. Sorry! But here are a few more pieces, you might like. One of them is a mermaid, and one you can pretend is Bella, and one was based off a picture of me, so- its puffish. So, fanart-esque ;) Hahaha…

I’m quite proud of the second one, so I’d love it if you’d ( take a look )

Well, its been over a day now in 2007. So I suppose I’m a little late in my New Years post. I wasn’t going to make one at all, honestly, but something made me want to. I went through a lot of bad things in ’06, and I know many of you did too- but there were also good things.

Last year, what got me through a bunch of tough situations was repeating to myself “Observe, don’t worry. Learn, don’t hurt.”

It sounds terribly lame, I know, but when I had to face people that had hurt me- or even things as simple as seeing them laughing with someone else I would repeat that over and over in my head. And I did learn a lot last year, if there was nothing else to say about 2006- I learned a lot and improved a lot.

I kind of live my life by two words, and often repeat just the two in my mind- “Observe,” and “Truth.” But that one phrase was just mine.

So, in a kind of meme-ish question- do you guys have any phrases or habits you do to help get you through?

I promisepromise to try and get some fanart soon, but for now here are a few things I have done

( Read more... )
Not all are finished but... meh. I'm bored, and do not have my *own* computer at the moment. On another note, what does one do when you have to be all alone on New Years Eve because all of your friends are either out of the state, babysitting, or at a party you would feel uncomfortable at? Gah, i need more friends. I'm debating about perhaps reading a new book I just started- Reading Lolita in Tehran, or perhaps my assigned reading for school, doing some art... or going to bed early as to not feel like crap. Except I'm getting calls at midnight, so that wouldn't work. Anyways thanks for looking/listening :) <3 luv you flist

1. Found out my favorite cousin is pregnant with her first baby! Yay!

2. Saw and chatted with an old friend of mine and my brothers, who used to come over and play games at our house and stick up for me on the bus when older kids would pick on me. He's nineteen.

3. Found out five minutes after he left that he has cancer (I'm not sure what type) but that its already spread...

I've realized that I'm completely replaceable to every one of my friends. Not just replaceable, though, I mean... I could be replaced in less than a week if I were to leave/die/etc. Sure, some would act sad if I was to leave... but I only know one who would be, and she would get over it pretty quick. Not one to dwell, especially on something as insignificant as me. My parents and brother I think are the only ones who would really care, but if I were just leaving- they'd still be with me.

I have nothing left for me in this town. I shouldn't care anymore, I should only care about what good things I'll get once I go off to college... I know college will have good things for me, and good people to meet.

So why does it still hurt so much?

Saw a few people on the flist take this. Was curious.

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Literate Good Citizen
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

( A charcoal picture and some ramblings i call a 'poem' )

Hey guys, its Etney, and I’m still alive. Been busy doing all the normal teenage girl stuff, I guess, which makes me feel incredibly typical and breaks my spirit a little when I realize it- but I’m living though it. Just got midterms back, and grades are doing okay but two B’s and that disappoints me- but I have half a term to bring them up. Hurrah!

My painting class has been going okay, considering I don’t catch on to painting near as quick as I do drawing- but my last acrylic painting was sooooo much fun. Lots of time, but it turned out awesome. I’m quite proud of it! I’ll upload it as soon as I can get it back and take a picture!

The typical teenage girl stuff? Um…. boys. I like boys. Most particularly this one boy. We’re doing pretty good, been dating almost 2 months now, hurrah, and I miss him because I haven’t seen him since tuesday… But yes, he’s a funny, gorgeous, foreign boy, and he fills my mind constantly. I can go on and on about him, can’t I my dearest Diana? XD Well.

Cheerleading has been driving me crazy, because the seniors on my squad suck- and without them being good or having any drive to do things good/ get things done, its near impossible for ME to do things good or get things done. Me and my friend, who are the only juniors, cannot possibly make the whole squad look good. We haven’t even begun working on any dances for basketball season, which is already upon us, and my stunt group will hardly try anything so my friend’s stunt group is far beyond me…. And this drives me crazy. I’m a naturally jealous person, and… I want to be good. But she makes it difficult for me.

Please! Let me know whats going on! How did the Puffs do last term? Did you guys win the cup? Yes, that is how behind I am- I don’t even know if we won. Sad. I spose I could find that out easily, perhaps I will go check right now…. But yes, Love you all and miss you all!

So I thought I'd let you guys know whats been going on, since I haven't really been on at all. I cut 12 inches off of my hair on Saturday for Locks of Love before work. Its been way busier than I'd ever expect, and handling it all is a challenge. Everyone remember junior year? Haven't had it yet? Its crazy. Its awesome. Its hard.

Wake up at 6 am, go to school till 3, cheer practice till past 5, come home and do homework till nine taking a half hour off to eat, and then collapsing into either drawing, reading, or trying to get a little extra homework in for the night. Or just going to sleep right then. Thursday nights are usually busier, and friday nights- you leave for the game around 4 and get home at about 11. Weekends? I'm working. The only day I get off before Thanksgiving is on Columbus day and the day before, and guess what? College visit!

The classes aren't as hard as I thought they would be, for the most part- because when the teachers said for the honors classes that instead of giving us extra work they would just be making the work harder... I beleived them. My hardest class is english 3 honors, because my teacher is working on making it become an AP class in a few years and is driving us hard. Not to mention lots of work there too. Two of the classes focus on US history and when I'm not getting Christianity screwed into my head by reading short stories by Puritans I'm just being retold the things I've learned in past years. Beleive it or not, I can actually retain knowledge.

Then there is the typical teenage stuff. I went to homecoming with the guy I mentioned in a previous post, however- I had kind of lost interest in him since then, unfortuntely. I think there are a few other guys that like me, but I only think of as friends. Three more. Ugh. Not fun. What is fun however, is crushing on someone else. Pretty sure he'll make an obvious enough move in the next week or two, and if not- he'd still make a good friend. Haven't done a whole lot with friends, however, seeing as how I dont have any time- one of my friends tells me I have no life and gets pissy because I dont spend enough time hanging out with him, but he can deal with it. Others have kind of just gotten distant, and the thing is? I find myself caring less.

Really, at the moment, the only thing keeping me here is the fact that I can't leave. And the boy that I like is pretty much the one reason I enjoy going to school, as sad as that sounds. He makes me feel happy when otherwise I'm drowning in the stupidity of my classmates and subjects. He makes me feel like smiling when I'm around him, and makes me feel like I stand out when he looks pointedly at me even when I'm in a crowd.

I think I'm changing now, or finishing a change I started a long time ago. I just dont care anymore about many people. I find myself leaning more and more onto the truthfulness and honesty side of being a Hufflepuff; meanwhile falling away from the side of helpfulness and caring. Most of these people wouldn't be there for me if I truly needed them, and though I'd still be there for them and I'll still keep their secrets- I dont think I need them anymore. I'm done here in this little town, Completley finished except for with my studies.

I look forward to senior year when I'll be able to take the classes where I get to learn things I want to learn. So at the moment, I'll just learn things on my own- I'm skimming a book about the Celtic people when possible, thought there isn't much time for that at the moment. And I'm reading the Scarlett Letter for school, which I think is beautiful. Oh! And I reccomend a book I picked up at borders the other day- A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. I really am liking it. I think most of you would enjoy it, as well.

And thats pretty much the majority of it for now...

Hearts and Hugs, I really do miss you all
Etney

I’ve been told more than once how un-American I am for the reasons I get nauseous at the smell of hotdogs and bored within sight of a baseball game. However, its these same people who exclaim how little I resemble an American for my dislikes of some favorite pastimes that are the first runners up supporting those who think we should send immigrants back out of the country, ban gay marriage, and immediately bomb an entire country- civilians and all- whose customs are different than our own. So, I ask, how does destroying the rights of others make you more American than me?

So you say that new immigrants are taking your jobs and taking up space. Yet, you must know that they aren’t coming here to hurt anyone- just to improve their own lives. They are just doing what your own ancestors did at some point, without giving us small-pox infested blankets and trying to kill us all in the ‘name of God.’

Then comes the whole ‘gay people shouldn’t be married.’ I haven’t found one valid reason that they shouldn’t have the right without getting into religion. And remember that there is a reason why the United States doesn’t have a national religion. Just because you don’t believe its right for a man to be with another man, or a woman to be with another woman because your God didn’t originally make people to be like that doesn’t give you the right to tell other people that what they are feeling isn’t the same type of love that you and your husband/wife feel. That is, the ones of you who got married for love. How is two people of the same gender getting married going to hurt you personally? I just… I can’t even comprehend how anyone can be so against things that probably won’t affect you anyway.
And for bombing an entire country… yes, we are at war- but it somehow seems a bit sadistic of you to not care about the innocents. You tell me to look at the way they treat their women, but if you blow up an entire nation- guess who’d be included? Then you say you’re against anyone who kills infants, one of the reasons you don’t believe in stem cell research of any kind- and yet you overlook that there are infants in that country.

So okay. Call me un-American because of my food and sport preferences. Rights are only for male white people anyway, right? Oh wait, either my time-period was off or your mindset is.
/Rant

_{If I offended anyone, I'm sorry, but this was really all bothering me greatly this morning. Had to right it down.}

Hello my lovers and bitches, here is the deal.

I started school last Thursday and ever since things have gone... well, I don't want to say 'down hill' but they haven't exactly been easy. Both of my art classes are showing me how little of skills in the areas I have- digital design and painting. Digital design, which I had to harass out of my counselor because she was being annoying and wouldn't just PRESS TWO OR THREE FRICKEN BUTTONS ON THE COMPUTER!!! Anyhow. I did get in, but yeah- not catching on as quickly as I'm used to. And all of my other classes love to pile on homework- so I'll usually have anywhere from 3-6 hours of homework a night. Depending on my multitasking skills. Cheerleading is crazy, the JV aren't getting their stunts so my group (instead of practicing) has been helping them. Not fun.

Working around 15 hours of the weekend, in the middle of the days. I have a crush on a boy, a shy boy- so most likely nothing will happen. Again. But I want him to ask me to homecoming because A) I like him and B) I want to go to homecoming. But I'm too much of a wimp to ask him- because he's shy and sweet so I don't know whether he likes me or is just that nice. And I'm not going friggen stag to another dance where my closest friend will be humping her boyfriend all night. Sound like fun? No. Gargh.

Oh, yesterday I TPd some houses with the other juniors on my cheerleading squad. In the past I'd thought it was wierd and immature, but now that I've done it ZOMG so much fun. Totally worth the fewer hours of sleep.

Again, feeling completely as if the harder I try to figure out who I am, the less I feel like anyone will accept me. The less I want to care whether or not people accept me, the more I hurt. I can't help it, and I feel like such a stereotypical teenager for thinking it let alone sharing it. Remembering why I wanted to get out of it so much.

My computer won't let me see any of MY lj pages- updating, flist, homepage, userinfo- none of it. It WILL let me go to other communities and stuff though, and I'm updating on the family computer I hardly ever get to use. So for those at HE: I'm not trying to abandon you, I just hardly have time to update let alone participate in whatevers going on. I'll try to keep sorting, and I'll update when my schedule gets straightened out for good.

Sentence fragments are my friends, and the only way my mind is working now. Forming full sentences is hard...

Love you all xoxoxo
Etney